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AN INDUSTRY DICTIONARY
This
list includes vague and ambiguous comments made by A&R, producers,
publishers, managers and bookers. As strange as some may seem, all of these
statements were, in fact, uttered by industry.
We discovered four categories
that most vague comments fit into:
1. Comments that mean “No, I
pass” without really saying so.
2. Comments that are
ambiguous. With these statements, additional questions are necessary.
3. Comments that imply an
affirmative and positive reaction.
4. Comments that are just plain
funny.
|
STATEMENT |
MEANING |
| |
|
| "..." |
“NO, I PASS” |
|
We just signed two acts,
otherwise we’d sign you |
Go somewhere else |
|
The vocals were great |
But, the band and/or songs suck |
|
The lead singer is a real
star |
The rest of the act needs work |
|
It’s a little loud |
You’re awful |
|
What a great performance |
Too bad the songs are weak |
|
It needs some polishing |
Change everything |
|
Come back in 6 months |
Leave me alone |
|
It shows promise |
Right now, however, it blows |
|
I like it, but I’m not in love
with it |
No way |
|
I’d like some input
|
I want total control |
|
Try to punch it up a bit
|
I have no idea what I want |
|
You’re like a poor man's Coldplay |
I never actually listened to the CD |
|
We love it, but don’t know what
to do with it |
You appeal to that elusive adult
audience |
|
That’s the best I’ve heard since
we signed (known act),
but they never sold any records |
Sorry, but no cigar |
|
I’m sure there’s an audience for
it |
But, I’m not going to look for
them |
|
Well, I hear three possible
hits, but I need to hear five |
I’m letting you down easy |
|
It's pretty good, but we need to go through some of the songs
|
I want co-writing credits |
|
You should try to be more like
(fill in the blank) |
You’ll never make it |
|
You have a pleasant sound |
You’re boring |
|
It’s not my cup of tea |
You wasted my time |
|
It’s not for me |
I don’t get it |
|
I know just who to give this to |
Now get out of my life |
|
If I like it I’ll get back to
you |
Don’t call me anymore |
|
I love it, but do I love it
enough to spend one million dollars
|
You’re not worth it |
|
“MAYBE, YOU NEVER KNOW”
|
|
I want to play it for more people |
You have a chance |
|
Let me live with this for a week |
If I still like it – we’ll talk |
|
Let me hear it again |
That was actually good |
|
Let me hear more songs |
They can’t all be this good |
|
You’re this close (fingers almost touching)
|
You’ve got a shot |
|
“ABSOLUTELY, I LOVE YOU”
|
|
Please call me – right away |
We have to talk |
|
Who else have you talked to
|
I want this for myself |
|
Do you have any outstanding agreements |
Let’s get rid of everyone else |
|
Have your attorney contact business affairs |
We’ve got a deal |
|
I have a check with your name on it |
Let’s start work |
| |
|
|
“JUST PLAIN FUNNY” |
|
|
I listen to every CD |
A&R will burn in hell for this lie |
|
I’m looking for something unique and
original |
I want an act like the one that’s selling
millions of records |
|
Where are you playing? I’ll come down and
check you out |
Don’t hold your breath |
|
You can trust me |
You must be new to LA |
|
It's a standard contract |
He He He…Bend over |
|
We need to build your "story" |
You need more sex appeal
|
|
You should come by the studio
sometime |
I want to get to “know you
better” |
|
You’re great, I’d love to help you out |
What’s your budget |
|
I can make you sound ten times better |
How much money do you have |
|
I love you – I can give you a Sunday night |
Just sell 50 tickets at $10 each |
| |
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By:
Bernard Baur
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